I’m not suicidal. I just really don’t feel like existing. Living is unfairly hard.
THERE IS SUCH A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH THE EDUCATION SYSTEM WHEN STUDENTS ARE IN TEARS EVERY SINGLE NIGHT AND WAKE UP EVERY SINGLE MORNING WANTING TO THROW UP AT THE THOUGHT OF GETTING OUT OF BED WHILE THINKING THAT THEY’D RATHER BE DEAD THAN GO TO SCHOOL
eleven thousand people can relate to this post. that’s not okay.
That awesome moment when you go onto 7cupsoftea to find someone to talk you down from an eating-disorder related anxiety attack and they tell you that you should stop overeating and then maybe you’ll look good in clothes?
I mean I’m pissed now instead of crying so I guess that’s progress but holy shit
It would be really nice if I could go one night without crying myself to sleep because I hate my body so much
I basically have been in the middle of a panic attack since last saturday but the worst thing is that I’m so good at pretending to be fine that no one notices and I just don’t want to exist right now because I dislike myself a lot but I know that I’m just feeling this way because of brain chemistry shit and that I will feel better soon but like.
Since I started therapy these feelings have been way less frequent and less BAD, but when they do happen they last for way longer. I used to be able to just go to sleep and wake up feeling fine. I can’t do that anymore for some reason. I wake up still feeling like complete garbage.
And I really really really dislike myself. I wish I could start over, because the list of things I am glad about is like, 10. And the list of things I don’t like and/or regret is like, 10000. I’m not a good person. I’m bad at being a person.